


bucky barnes has the worst luck

by Booplesnootbunny



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: I've had this idea for a while, M/M, Old Steve Rogers, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), There's also a young steve rogers tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 01:08:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30097971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Booplesnootbunny/pseuds/Booplesnootbunny
Summary: After an accident and what seems to be a disastrous miracle, Bucky is forced to make choices.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a WIP 💀 I'm bad at titles, so it might change idk-  
> Im gonna try and figure out a posting schedule, but for now, like w all my other fics, updates will be sporadic.  
> I also do not have a beta reader, so this more than likely will come w its fair share of typos.

Bucky's eyes widened. It all felt as though it were going in slow motion, yet the moments leading up to this had happened so quickly. 

He and Sam had been sent on a mission to retrieve some special relic from "the wizard," as Sam liked to call him - his real name was Doctor Stephen Strange, they both knew this very well - and bring said relic back safely. Sounded simple enough, and it really should've been. 

But now, Bucky was staring down as Sam went plummetting down the winterous cliff, his mouth open in a soundless scream, reaching for Sam but to avail. 

It was too late. _He_ was too late. Sam quickly disappeared through the flurry of snow that fell heavily, and Bucky felt as though he could cry. He was gone. His wings had been malfunctioning since the day before, but Sam - _stupid, stupid_ Sam - has insisted that he would be fine despite Bucky's chiding. 

Bucky found himself silently praying to whatever deity was out there that was willing to listen, wishing for Sam to be okay. However, he didn't get much to grieve his friend, for the people responsible for Sam's fall didn't seem at all satisfied with just getting rid of Sam; they wanted to get rid of Bucky as well. 

But Bucky had had his fair share of getting knocked down cliffs - once was enough for the Winter Soldier - and, now driven by date and hurt, he skillfully fought back, throwing one after the other to their deaths, shooting clean shots, even pausing to pummel one. When he was finished, he slowly stood up straight. 

His dark eyes looked back mournfully. Was this how Steve had felt when _he_ had been the one to fall all those years back? 

It was almost as though the world were punishing Bucky, forcing him to go through what his best friend had gone through. Just like back then, they had been on a train, so it wasn't like Bucky could just... jump off and go find Sam. No, the train was moving too quickly, they were much too far apart now, and he was even sure if he would be able to find him. 

The cold, harsh wind stung his face, reminding him that he needed to hurry. The relic was already in his possession, the last thing he had to do was bring it in to Pepper and Rhodes, who were waiting on them back in New York. 

What would be tell them? Would they blame him for Sam's possible death? Worry began to bubble up inside of Bucky alongside the pain of the idea that Sam could be laying down there, dead - or, worse, he could still be alive, hurt, clinging onto life, calling out to Bucky, waiting for him to come and save him. 

A fuzzy-sounding voice coming from his earpiece snapped him out of his treacherous thoughts, and he instantly felt hope ignore within him. It was Sam, it _had_ to be Sam. Surely he was saying some stupid, witty quip, and he would fly up, land beside Bucky, and be okay. 

"... ucky? ... n yo... ear us?" The voice on the other side was breaking up, but it made Bucky's heart sink. Despite the awful connection, he could recognize the voice as Pepper Potts, and he knew the "us" she was talking about was herself and Rhodes, the two people that he was, well, sorry of dreading at the moment.

He waited a bit until her voice came through more clearly before responding, "I'm here." He was startled to hear his voice come out very softly. 

"Bucky, we ha... a s... uation over here." Bucky felt his skin crawl at Rhodes' words. We're people attacking them over there, too? "... ou and Sam n... to get he... quickly."

"Sam can't." His voice cracked. 

"Can y... ar... s? B... ky?" They were breaking up, and Bucky wasn't even sure if they had heard him. More broken words tried to come through to Bucky, but the connection got worse and worse to the point of frustration for Bucky that he ripped the earpiece off and threw it a hard and far as he could, off of the moving train. He knew he had to get back, and if he wouldn't be able to hear any signs of hope from Sam, was there really a point in keeping the damn thing on?

His face was numb from the cold, but he didn't care. He was too distracted by the thought of Sam slowly getting covered by the snow, broken, unable to get to help, weakly crying Bucky's name. He would die alone. 

...

The trip home was awful. Bucky was lonely the entire time, he couldn't believe he actually missed Sam. Maybe it was because of the guilt. Maybe if Sam had just left on his own terms, Bucky wouldn't be feeling like it was eating at him slowly. As he entered the building, he felt his hands begin to shake. Whether it was from fear, anxiety or something else, he wasn't sure of, but he did his best to ignore it. He approached the front desk, where the woman behind it looked up, seemingly startled. 

"Hello, how may I help you?" she asked, eyeing him. 

"I have a meeting with Potts and Rhodes," he grunted. Luckily, his voice no longer gave any hints of how he was truly feeling (unlike his hands). 

"Your name?" the woman asked, typing something in. 

"James Barnes." Was that the right answer? If Pepper and/or Rhodes were to put his name into a system, would they have our him in as "James" or "Bucky"? Did he have to say "James _Buchanan_ Barnes"? He felt his palms begin to sweat as his grip on the case that held the relic tightened. 

"Can I see an ID please?"

ID? He stared at her blankly. Bucky didn't have any sort of identification card on him. He was always with Sam, who had always been able to get them both into anywhere, and before Sam, he had always been with Steve. 

He opened his mouth to say this, but no words came out. He and the woman awkwardly stared at each other, her waiting for him to hand over one form of ID, and him with his mouth gaping open like some idiot. 

"Bucky!" Bucky felt his tense shoulders relax a bit at the sight of Rhodes coming over to them. "Hey, it's okay, he's here for a meeting with me and Pepper," he said to the receptionist. She gave a small nod, and Bucky snapped his mouth shut, thanking his lucky stars for Rhodes popping in just at the right time. 

"I don't have an ID," was the first thing Bucky said rather than a greeting. This earned a small chuckle from Rhodes. He was leading Bucky through the building as they spoke. 

"We can get that fixed. You brought the thing we needed, right?" He glanced down at the case in Bucky's hands, and Bucky held it towards him, nodding, Rhodes accepting it. 

"What's it for anyway? It just looks like some old vase," Bucky commented. As Rhodes explained, Bucky couldn't help but notice that he hadn't made an queries about Sam and his whereabouts. Did he not care? Wasn't Sam important to him like he was to Bucky - wait, what? Since when did Bucky think Sam was "important to him"?

"And we really think you need to check it out, man," Rhodes was saying, bringing Bucky out of his jumbled thoughts. They had stopped on front of a pair of double doors, and Rhodes nodded for Bucky to open them. 

He tentatively did so and stepped into the dimly lit room. Inside was Pepper, standing with her arms crossed and her back to them. She ws looking through a large dark-paned window before her, Bucky immediately recognizing the room as one of those double-sided interrogation rooms. 

"Potts, Rhodes, there's something I gotta- it's about Sam, he-" His gaze went past Pepper, and he felt his mouth go dry, word escaping him. 

He turned to look at Rhodes, jaw clenched furiously. 

"What the hell is this?" His voice was low and slow as he did his best to keep his temper in check. 

"We're... not entirely sure ourselves, Bucky." Rhodes spoke slowly as though choosing his words carefully, and, honestly, Bucky couldn't blame him. One wrong word out of the man, and Bucky was positive he might just be unable to stop himself from strangling him right then and there. 

"They found him in the ice," Pepper finally spoke, her voice hushed. He eyes never left their trained path. "We took better precautions than they did before with him so that he can be slowly introduced into society this time." 

Bucky felt as though he were stuck where he stood. Laying sleep in a bed, looking innocent as an angel, was Steve. The room on the other side was decorated to look like one from their time. 

"Instead of just one room, we've implemented a whole living situation," Rhodes explained. "We've had him sedated, though, until we're sure it's all secure enough to being interacting with him-" 

"Who is that?" Bucky choked out. 

"Wh- that's Steve."

"No, it's _not_. It _can't_ be. Steve is- he's an old man, I saw with my own eyes. He gave Sam his shield for God's sake!" He felt his anger and fear rising. "This is... it's my fault." Realization and blame came crashing down on him. The universe wa cruel, and it had decided that Bucky would never be able to catch a break. Countless times, Bucky had told Sam he would much rather have Steve around than him, and now, Sam's life was exchanged in order for Bucky's sour scathes to come true. Sam really _was_ dead because of him in more ways than one. 

He had always believed his own remarks to be true, but now that Bucky was staring Steve in the face once again knowing that there was no Sam in the world anymore... He wasn't so sure that his words held any truth to them all along. Perhaps they had been empty, poorly-chosen retorts on his behalf from the start. Seeing Steve didn't make him feel one bit better like he thought it might, in fact, if made his chest - no, if made his _heart_ ache. 

His heart was aching for Sam. 

"I really don't think you caused any of this, Bucky," Rhodes said, sounding confused. "I think it was Steve who somehow messed up the timelines."

"Bucky, where's Sam?" Bucky felt his blood run cold. Pepper had finally turned to look at them, and she was now watching Bucky inquisitively, only he didn't know how to respond. 

"That's... that's what I'm trying to say." His voice came out as a shakey whisper, hoarse in his throat, his emotions refusing to be concealed any longer the more he thought about Sam. "Sam is dead."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, apologies for any typos haksnsnx  
> I handwrite these first and try to fix them as i type them, but my phone autocorrects stuff weird wo me realizing-

A heavy silence blanketed them. A small gasp came from Pepper, and Rhodes stared at Bucky in shock. 

"I'm so sorry." Pepper took a step towards Bucky, but Bucky somehow found a way to unglue himself from his spot and backed away. 

"That's why this is my fault- all of this. This shouldn't have happened."

"You can't blame yourself," Pepper said softly, this time making no move towards him. "Everyone puts their life on the line in order to do good, including you. And Sam knew that." 

"I should've been able to save him."

"No one will blame you for being unable to."

"What... happened...?" Rhodes asked. Just the thought of remembering the utter terror on Sam's face as he fell was too much for Bucky, and he shook his head, taking a step backwards. 

"I shouldn't be here," he said. 

"Steve needs you, Bucky." Bucky felt himself freeze again af Rhodes' words. He was entirely wrong; Bucky could definitely be of help in introducing Steve into the new world faster. He could he a comfort to him in the way that Steve had been to him before. Maybe, with some time, he could refill the void that Sam had patched up that Steve had caused in the first place. 

_'But are you really worthy of that?,'_ a small voice in the back of his head scoffed. _'Do you seriously think_ you _of_ all _people deserve happiness? You'll just lose_ this _Steve, too. You shouldn't get to be happy with_ anybody _.'_

"I don't think he'll need me," Bucky murmured. "He was fine before when I wasn't around, and I'm sure he'll be okay this time, too."

Movement from the other side caught Bucky's eye, and apparently Rhodes' as well, for the two snapped their attention towards where Steve lay, Pepper following suit, turning around to watch. Steve was sitting up in the bed, his eyes blinking awake as he took in his surroundings. 

"You can go in right now, Bucky," Rhodes said gently. "Or we sedate him again. But I think if you go in there and talk to him..." His voice trailed off almost hopefully. Could it really be possible for Bucky to make a change - a _positive_ change?

Despite the nagging voice still trying to get to him, he decided he was willing to give it a shot, it not to make himself feel better, then to at the very least try and busy himself with something else to keep his mind off of Sam. 

"What do you need me to do?"

Rhodes and Pepper both looked startled by his agreement before Pepper spoke. "Go in, introduce yourself to him. He'll probably recognize you like our 'other Steve' did. From there... you can explain to him as much as you'd like however you'd like." She began to sound hesitant, but Bucky nodded, doing his best to feign any amount of confidence that he could. 

Pepper walked him to a door that connected to a long corridor. They walked in silence and stopped in front of a door. "This will bring you into the living room of the 'model home.' Just go to the small hall to the left and enter the door on the right, and you'll find him." She paused before adding, "Rhodey and I will be watching from the other side. If you feel like you want or need to leave, signal to us, okay?" She offered him a small smile, and Bucky felt the nerves that he hadn't realized were there until now ease a bit. 

"Okay," he responded. He reached for the knob, took a deep breath, then turned it, opening it. He took no time to enter the livingroom, and he suddenly felt like he had stepped into a portal that had thrown him back in time. They really _had_ worked hard to get every detail that they could get correct. 

He shut the door behind him, and he heard automatic locks click into place. He took the room in for a moment longer, just standing and admiring it. Even though he knew it was all a set, it felt oddly like home. He walked slowly through the room, picking up knick knacks to examine them, then finally mustered up the courage he needed to walk down the hall. He stood in front of the door, simply staring at the wooden plank that separate him and his (former?) best friend. He shook his hands off as though that were going to shake off his remaining worries, then slowly turned the knob. The door creaked open ever so slowly, the high pitched squeaking hurting Bucky's ears. 

When it was finally fully open, he found himself standing into Steve's wide, blue eyes. He swallowed harshly; anything he wanted to say left him - although it's not like he even knew what he was going to say in the first place - leaving him just standing with a blank mind. 

"Bucky?" 

That seemed to be Steve's forever immediate reaction to seeing him after a long time, it seemed, Bucky thought, recalling his first encounter with Steve after being Hydra's mind-controlled, brainwashed slave for years. 

"Hey, Stevie." Bucky's voice found itself in the middle ground between emotional and entirely lost. "How ya feelin'?" 

"Buck... is it really you?" Steve finally croaked. His eyes were glazed over with emotions that Bucky couldn't quite pinpoint, but he did his best to not break their eye contact. 

"It is me, Stevie," he murmured. "I can prove it if you need me to-" He cut himself off as Steve stood up off the bed. He tended his shoulders, preparing for the worst. Steve tentatively walked over to him until they were eye-to-eye, and Bucky found himself holding his breath. They stared at each other for a while - geez, today was seriously just a day for staring Bucky, wasn't it? - until Steve reached a hand towards Bucky. Bucky instinctively flinched away from the touch. 

"Ah, sorry," he muttered when Steve gave him a hesitant look of uncertainty. Suppressing everything in him that was screaming for him to get out of there, Bucky gently took Steve's hand in his own and brought it up to his face, where he placed it on his cheek. He looked intently into Steve's eyes and whispered, "It's me."

It felt as though time had frozen and it was just them in the world. Bucky almost even forgot that Pepper and Rhodes were watching. Suddenly, Steve broke the tension by throwing himself around Bucky in the tightest hug possible. 

"Oh, my God," he breathed out, clutching Bucky as though his life was depending on making sure Bucky stayed there. Okay, maybe being in Steve's arms again _did_ make him feel a _little_ comforted. He relaxed once again and let himself be held for as long as Steve needed; Bucky was sure that if he had asked in the past, Steve would have left him do the same. "What are you _wearing_?" Steve's question caught Bucky off guard. 

He had pulled away from the hug a bit so that they were looking at each other again, and he was eyeing Bucky up and down. Bucky looked down at his outerwear and realized he probably should've suggested some sort of outfit change before entering. Glancing towards the wall that was masking the glass in disguise where Pepper and Rhodes were, he wondered if they were thinking the same. 

_'Well,'_ he thought, _'no better time than the present, I guess.'_ He couldn't think up any plausible excuse as to why is clothing - hell, his _metal arm_ \- were the way that they were, so, after mentally cursing himself for being so stupid, he carefully removed himself from Steve's hold, then led him back to the bed and sat him down. 

"I'm... not really sure where to begin," Bucky started slowly. He wandered the room, feeling Steve's gaze following him. He paused at the large shelf pushed against a wall to the corner, sifted through the items it held before spotting a bottle of aged whiskey. Grabbing it, he walked back over to Steve and held it out to him. "You're gonna need this."

...

"And so then Tony-"

"That's Howard's son, right?"

"Yep. He helped basically fund the group called 'The Avengers,' and you were accepted as pretty much their leader 'cause Captain America, ya know?" 

The two were laying on the bed, their legs handing off, heads close as they spoke. Although Bucky had not been there for the earlier part of Steve's life in the new world, he had been told enough time by the original Steve (if was easier in Bucky's head to call him that) to be able to recite the events to this current Steve. Catching Steve up on his own life was not something Bucky had anticipated _ever_ , but after carefully explaining to Steve what had happened with the original Steve, current Steve seemed more than intrigued to know what else has happened in his life. 

"And what about you, Buck?" Steve turned his head to look at Bucky, his blue eyes shimmering with curiosity. Bucky sighed and sat up, grabbing at the whiskey bottle that Steve held. Neither of the two men could actually get drunk, they both knew that, but the alcohol was, in an odd way, comforting, and drinking while discussing all of this mind boggling truth just felt like the right thing to do. "Where were you during all of this?" 

_'Where were you?'_ Yeah, that was a good question. Bucky couldn't quite remember where he was or what he was doing at the time of Loki and the Chitauri, not only because he had been under Hydra's control, but also because he chose to try and block those awful memories. 

Instead of answering Steve's question right away, he said, "You met this... this _guy_. He was annoying, made jokes that were definitely _not_ funny, and was honestly an asshole. But... he was loyal to you, and would risk his life for you." He paused and stared down at the bottle's mouth. Behind him, Steve sat up, too. Bucky took a swig, then continued. "And then you guys found me again." 

"Again?" Steve's voice was soft, but pressed him to continue. This was the part that Bucky had truthfully been a bit afraid to get to, and for whaf reason, he wasn't too sure of. 

This was still Steve, _his_ Steve. If the original Steve had been more than willing to - and kind of seriously _did_ \- destroy the Avengers just did him, why wouldn't _this_ Steve also be quick to accept him? 

_'Because he didn't have to go through years trying to navigate the world thinking you were dead like the original Steve did.'_ There it was. The nagging voice was back, and Bucky's grip on the bottle tightened, his knuckles parking from the building pressure. 

"I was under Hydra's control all those years." Steve was silent. Bucky couldn't bring himself to turn around and look at him, so he kept talking. "I didn't even know who you were. I-" He sighed angrily. "I killed Howard years prior." Still nothing. It was almost as if he were talking to a wall from the lack of response. "I was later sent to kill you, and I tried to. I don't... I don't know if I would have succeeded, but you... convinced me not to. You pulled me out of it, and I... I couldn't let you die." He fell quiet and when Steve still said nothing, Bucky was sure he either hated him or he'd actually left the room. Regardless, Bucky still could not bring himself to turn. 

"Then what?" Bucky was taken aback by the lack of disgust in Steve's voice. Instead, he sounded curious. "What happened after?" Bucky forced himself to look at Steve. Their eyes met, and Bucky searched for any signs of hatred, but...

Nothing. 

There was nothing but sympathy and adoration. Bucky let out a breath that he hadn't realized he had been holding on and proceeded to explain.

**Author's Note:**

> Listen-  
> I know Strange could've just popped open a portal and tossed them the thing they needed, but for the sake of this fic, pretend he couldn't ☝️💀


End file.
